Am I Ready?

It's the last day of Christmas break and I don't think I've taken a breath all day long. I'm sure every teacher can identify with the last day of vacation stress that I've been feeling today. Trying to get lesson plans written, making sure laundry and ironing are done, sending out reminder messages to students and parents, trying to finish the grading I promised myself I would do the first two days of break, and writing up lists, lists, lists.

Are there any other professions out there that don't allow for enjoying that last day or two of vacation? I mean, I know that most people will bemoan the fact that they have to return to work, but do they actually start working before they go back to work? No? Just teachers?

At this moment I'm trying to remind myself that the second school starts tomorrow morning, it will feel like we never even left. We'll settle right back into our routine within minutes because that's what our students need us to do. But, at this moment, I am also chastising myself for not going into the classroom last week to clean and organize and make sure everything was ready for students.

Of course, I'm also thinking about my students. I'm sure they're feeling just like me tonight, dreading that morning wake-up call. Would they be surprised to discover that teachers don't always look forward to returning to work? That we would be just fine with one more day of vacation?

I think we need to ease back into school tomorrow. In fact, I think the Monday after Christmas break should always be a comfy clothes day, perhaps even a pajama day. Let's all show up in sweats or pajamas or, here in California, shorts and a tshirt. And slippers! Warm, comfy slippers! I'm sure that will make all of us feel much better. Don't you?

January 31st: Feeling the Love

Open House! Now that it's over I can breathe a sigh of relief. I spent all day yesterday in the classroom cleaning and setting everything up, and I have to admit that my room looked awesome! It's actually a point of pride for me that my room always looks great; I must get that from my mother. But I also know that I function better in a clean, well-organized classroom, and I know my students do too.

Back to Open House. It went incredibly well! The parents had nothing but wonderful things to say to me about the classroom and the student work that was on display. A few even pulled me aside to thank me for making this such a great year for their child. They even shared with me the impact I've had on their seventh grader. There's a part of me that still doesn't want to hear that; a part that doesn't want to believe that I've touched anyone. After all, I still don't believe that I am doing this job the "right way," whatever that may be.

So today I just tried to listen and accept the praise that was being given to me. Why is that so hard? Would it really be easier to accept if I just believed what they were saying? Am I supposed to be striving to be the teacher I want to be or the teacher my students need me to be? This is now my fourth year of teaching, and I still have more questions than answers.

When do I get answers?