Am I Ready?

It's the last day of Christmas break and I don't think I've taken a breath all day long. I'm sure every teacher can identify with the last day of vacation stress that I've been feeling today. Trying to get lesson plans written, making sure laundry and ironing are done, sending out reminder messages to students and parents, trying to finish the grading I promised myself I would do the first two days of break, and writing up lists, lists, lists.

Are there any other professions out there that don't allow for enjoying that last day or two of vacation? I mean, I know that most people will bemoan the fact that they have to return to work, but do they actually start working before they go back to work? No? Just teachers?

At this moment I'm trying to remind myself that the second school starts tomorrow morning, it will feel like we never even left. We'll settle right back into our routine within minutes because that's what our students need us to do. But, at this moment, I am also chastising myself for not going into the classroom last week to clean and organize and make sure everything was ready for students.

Of course, I'm also thinking about my students. I'm sure they're feeling just like me tonight, dreading that morning wake-up call. Would they be surprised to discover that teachers don't always look forward to returning to work? That we would be just fine with one more day of vacation?

I think we need to ease back into school tomorrow. In fact, I think the Monday after Christmas break should always be a comfy clothes day, perhaps even a pajama day. Let's all show up in sweats or pajamas or, here in California, shorts and a tshirt. And slippers! Warm, comfy slippers! I'm sure that will make all of us feel much better. Don't you?

Day Three

It's day three of my self-imposed #Write365 challenge, and I'm already starting to wonder if I'll be able to find something every day to write about. I mean, how many posts can I write that complain about grading or lesson planning? Those are daily issues, but I don't want to continuously focus on the negative.

Should I assign myself writing prompts like the ones some teachers give to their students? Should I simply write about any random thoughts that pop into my mind during the day? (I work with middle schoolers...my life is filled with random thoughts.) Or should this be one long therapy session where I try to figure out all the things that are wrong with my life. (Oh geez, no one will want to read that!)

Sidenote: As I'm writing this, I'm also watching the NFL playoffs and I'd like to make a request to all commentators out there. I can guarantee that many of my middle schoolers are watching the games this weekend. As their grammar teacher, could you please use proper grammar while speaking? You may not know this, but many of my students hang on practically every word you say. And sometimes they come into class on Mondays and make fun of some of the grammatical errors you made over the weekend.

Okay, never mind. I rather enjoy that.

I took this picture of a robin while I was at my mom and dad's for Christmas. He kept staring at me, probably wondering what that strange thing attached to my face was. He sure jumped every time the shutter clicked.

It amused me.

Then again...I'm easily amused.

In One Word

 

I've looked at this photograph many times in the years since the Tiananmen Square Massacre of 1989, and it never fails to move me. I am often moved by stories of courage in part because I feel that it is something I do not possess in abundance. Now, this does not mean that I am a coward. Not at all. What I believe it means is that there are areas of my life that could be improved if only I weren't inhibited by fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of embarrassment. 

In the last few days I've noticed a few people in my PLN making references to the hashtag #OneWord. The more I read other people's blog posts, the more I became intrigued with the idea. Essentially, rather than writing a long list of New Year's Resolutions (which never work anyway), you choose one word to focus on throughout the year. A nice explanation of the idea can be found here: Don't Make a Resolution, Find a Word. 

I spent some time thinking about what my word should be for this year, but there wasn't any real decision that needed to be made. I knew, in my heart, that my word for 2015 has to be COURAGE. 

In preparing to write this post, I looked up some quotes on COURAGE. The one that really sticks with me comes from The Greatest:

He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.
~Muhammad Ali

And that's what it all comes down to for me: being brave enough to take the risks that will help me to move forward and have the life that I've always wanted. I'm not talking about mindless, death-defying, somebody better buy me a casket, risks. No, I'm referring to those seemingly small, but oh so incredibly important risks:

• Saying "no" when it's really uncomfortable, but saying "yes" might cost you a piece of your heart.
• Saying "yes" when my comfort zone is screaming "no."
• Telling my comfort zone goodbye...or at least "see you later...in shorter time increments."
• Speaking up for what is right when everyone else is looking at their feet.
• Doing what is best for me...no excuses.

Now that I have my #OneWord, I need to find something to remind me of it every day. Something for my desk at school or a necklace perhaps. I'll know it when I see it.

Happy New Year!

Write 365

Once Upon A Time...I began this blog with the hope that it would not only push me to write more, but that it would also help me to refocus my thoughts toward a more positive attitude. Well, it's been a few years since I last wrote anything here, but I'm feeling the need to start again.

And that's the beautiful thing about life, isn't it? There's always time to start anew, we just need to find the desire and the willingness. I woke up this morning feeling that desire to be a writer again...the willingness, well, I'll just need to work on that.

In the past, I've participated in the 365 Photo Challenge and, as an amateur photographer, I truly enjoyed it. Some days were more challenging than others to find something worthy of that #365Photo, but I kept at it and thoroughly enjoyed it. This year, I'm setting a different challenge for myself. The title of this blog post probably gave it away, but my goal is to write at least one blog post every day of this year. Some of them may be fairly short...

"Working on report cards."

"Bad fish, bad fish!"

"This is Karen's mother. Please excuse her from writing a blog post today. Her brain is dead."

...but I will write something!

When I was growing up, I dreamed of becoming an author. The problem was I rarely seemed to actually write anything worthy of publishing. Or even sharing with the cat, for that matter. There's this line from an old Billy Crystal movie that has stayed in my head since I first saw Throw Momma From the Train:

"A writer writes. Always!"

So that is my goal. To write. Every day.

If you would like to join me, I'll be using the hashtag #write365 on Twitter.

A Reader's Field Trip

The Book Whisperer. Have you read it yet? This wonderful book by Donalyn Miller is a must-read for all teachers, not just reading or literature teachers. I read it last summer and it completely changed the way I think about teaching literature with seventh graders. And that's a good thing.

A very good thing.

On the first day of school this year, I informed my new students that their goal for the year is to read forty books of their own choosing. I expected groans and grumbling, but heard none. I did hear one student whisper, "Yes!" which surprised me...happily.

The sixth grade class at school is also aiming for forty books read by each student by the end of the school year. Sadly, they are way ahead of us! And my students know it. They actually brought it up in class yesterday, wanting to know what we are going to do about it. I wasn't really sure what they expected me to say, except for, "Well, we could read more!" (I'm sure my tone included a great big "Duh!!")

That wasn't good enough for Lexi. "No! We need a goal!"

We have a goal...forty books.

"No! We need a 'we're going to beat the sixth graders' goal! And I think it should be we read a thousand books more than them by spring break!"

A thousand?

"Yeah! A thousand more than the sixth graders. By spring break!"

A thousand? By spring break?

"Yes!!" She was probably thinking I'd had a stroke or some sort of mental breakdown since I kept repeating what she'd said. But, seriously....a thousand?!

Um, why spring break? Why don't we say 'by the last day of school'?

"No, it has to be spring break!"

Why?

"Because then we can set a new goal to beat them again by the end of the year!"

By now, most of the class is completely behind Lexi. Except Joey. Joey just kept rolling his eyes.

That's a lot of books, Lexi.

At this point, Adriana throws her hand up in the air. "OH! Miss McMillan!! I know!!!"

Yes, Audi?

"I know what we should do! We should take a field trip to the library! We could check out as many books as we want and then just stay there and read! All. Day. Long!!"

Actually, Audi, I love that idea!

A roar went up from the class, except for Joey. Joey just shook his head.

It looks like I'll be contacting the library over Christmas break to see if they do field trips. The new library in Walnut Creek is amazingly beautiful...we just have to go there!

Now, this is my kind of field trip! Plus, look at all the cool places to sit and read the day away:

There's even a gazebo!

So...who's with me?!?

Great Gobs of Giggliness!

Seventh graders are weird! I'm just putting that out there. For those of you who have worked with middle schoolers, this will come as no surprise to you. They are just great big goofballs...and they know it. And, quite frankly, they enjoy it.

So did I, today.

I have a very lopsided class this year: 26 girls and 8 boys! The silliness today had nothing to do with gender...it was just all weird. I got called over to one table because Ali wanted me to hear Dylan speak in a weird voice. Another table called me over because Shelby needed to share her random fact of the day with me (apparently this is a tradition with her). Just to be clear, everyone was getting plenty of work done...we were just having plenty of fun while we worked! Nothing wrong with that, right?

At one point, I interrupted them and said something to the entire class. What it was, I can't remember. I do remember using one of my weird voices. I did not expect to be imitated by someone I had previously thought was the shy, quiet type. It got very quiet, very quickly. I looked over at this poor child who was turning bright red and said, "Kalena, did you just imitate the teacher?" And she started giggling.

Well, I lost it. I started laughing so hard while at the same time trying to maintain my control and not laugh...can I tell you how hard that is to do?!! The trying not to laugh just made my eyes start tearing up and before I knew it tears were streaming down my face.

In the front row, poor West hadn't heard what had transpired, so he kept repeating, "What happened? What'd I miss? What's so funny?" When I could breathe, I said, "West, you kinda had to be there."

West cried out, "But I WAS there!!"

I almost had to leave the room after that. Seriously...I couldn't breathe!

Not a bad way to spend a day, wouldn't you agree?

Let Us Begin

It is that time of year, once again. Time for the whining to begin anew. "But I don't wanna go back to school!!" "I just got out of school, it can't be time to go back!!" "Please, oh please, can't I have a few more weeks?!" And that's just the teachers!

Yes, even teachers whine to their mothers. Somehow, whining to someone who is retired about having to go back to work just isn't all that fulfilling.

I'll admit it...I'm not looking forward to going back to work. I enjoy sleeping in, getting dressed only if absolutely necessary, eating lunch at a time other than 12:15, and, in general, being a lazy bum. I loved doing a little traveling this summer, a whole lot of learning, and meeting some of the most wonderful people I've ever known! (even though I knew them before I knew them!) I loved watching television, reading magazines, visiting bookstores, and having long chats with friends (online and on the phone), all without having to worry about the lengthy list of items that need to get done for school.

But I am most definitely looking forward to seeing all of my friends on Tuesday; the people who help create the wonderful community at our school; the people who keep me sane on a daily basis...or at least try to. It is for their sake as well as mine that I make the following statement:

Each day, upon waking, I will remind myself that I am a person of value. I have something wonderful to share with the people in my life, including my students. My attitude is my choice. I choose to begin each day feeling positive about life. I choose happiness.

Now, it is very easy to say that from where I sit at the end of my summer vacation. I know it will be much harder to maintain after, say, Tuesday morning when the alarm goes off for the first time in two months. I'm sure I'll need help in maintaining my positive outlook. Fortunately I have some wonderful friends who will help me with this whenever I need it, either with a supportive shoulder or a good swift kick. They always seem to know the right thing to do or say...even if I don't want to hear it.

But I thought I should have a back-up plan for when my friends aren't nearby; something to go to and find a bit of positivity when I'm in desperate need. So I Googled it. "Positivity," that is. The first site listed was The Positivity Blog by Henrik Edberg, a "30 year old guy from Sweden" (his words) who managed to make some pretty significant changes in his life, the first of which was to move from "a generally pretty negative attitude to a much more positive one." Well, that's exactly what I'd like to do. So I think I'll check out his blog from time to time (or whenever he adds a new post!) There are several blogs linked on my blog that I haven't viewed in quite some time. Why is that?

Actually, I think the question should be why do I take so little time for myself during the school year? Why don't I ever make the time to do something I love to do? Do I really think that I hold so little value as a human being that the needs of everyone else should come before the needs of this teacher? Those of you who know me well already know the answer to that last question. But I'm working on it.

My dear friend Teryl put out a question to our PLN (Personal Learning Network) the other day: "What do you do well outside of education?" As teachers we spend so much of our time (yes, even during our summer vacation) consumed with all the things that need to be done for our students, for their parents, for our school, that we can get lost in the process. But when asked that question, "What do you do well outside of education?" the answer should not be, "Umm..."

That was my answer, by the way. It's not that I feel I don't do anything well other than teach. That wasn't the problem with my answer. The problem was I had to think about it! "What do you do well...?" could also be interpreted as "What do you love to do?" That should not be a question that requires a great deal of thought. That should be the easiest of questions to answer.

"Umm..."

Ok, Teryl. I get it. We all need to have something outside of our careers that makes us happy. Just us! Something that we do only because we love it and it makes us feel like we are a person of value. Or it's something we do because it's a challenge and we know we can overcome it because we want to. I need to start exploring ideas, look at potential hobbies, try something new. Try something positive.

Umm...I'm open to suggestions.

________________________________

One quick side note. I was out running errands today and was struck by the number of people who crossed my path on this beautiful Sunday morning who seemed to be in wonderfully cheerful moods. It was infectious. From the mother and young daughter who were having a rather amusing debate in Target over which small whiteboard was "cuter," to the clerk who rang me up and just really seemed to be enjoying her day, to the young woman at the drive-thru window at Wendy's who, when I pulled up, greeted me with a very cheery, "Welcome to Wendy's!" She had the biggest, most genuine smile on her face. It was beautiful!

"Oh, um...thank you," I chuckled.

She handed my lunch to me with a, "Thank you so much! Have a wonderful day!!"

"Thank you!" I chuckled again.

She was just so cute! And sweet! And so sadly unique. At least that's what I thought at first.

As I drove away with a smile on my face - happy people will do that to you, if you let them - I started thinking that she really isn't all that unique. Kind, good people like this young woman whose name I did not manage to notice are really the norm in life. There are far more of them than I think most people want to admit. We seem to want to believe that mean, unhappy people outnumber the rest of us. Those are the people who make us miserable at work or who take the last parking space in the lot as we waited patiently for it; the people who hurtle themselves down the freeway at breakneck speed and cut you off and then make rude gestures at you. They aren't bad people, per se. Just unhappy. Or unknowledgeable. Yes, I know...I'm making up words now.

But think about it...of all the people you had to deal with last year - co-workers, parents, students - how many of them caused you grief? Which party represented the greatest majority? Those who were easy to deal with or those who were not? Of one hundred people in your working life, how many would you say negatively impacted your life? One? Two? Five? Ten? Even if it was ten out of one hundred people, that means that ninety percent (90%) of the people you worked with in one capacity or another last year were good people who positively impacted your life. I can live with that. How about you?

Try this experiment. The next time you go out to run errands, greet everyone who crosses your path with a cheery "Good morning!" (or whatever time of day it happens to be) Hold the door open for people. Let someone else go ahead of you in line at the supermarket. Sure, you'll get a few stares from people who might be thinking "Oh, crazy woman! Just smile and walk away!!" But for the most part, happiness will be met by happiness.

Try it. And let me know what happens. More importantly, let me know how you feel afterwards!

William James said, "The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes." What would happen if many human beings altered their lives by altering their attitudes? What kind of change would we be able to make in our world if we just believed we could?

So, here's to a new school year! May it bring us joy with little sorrow, playfulness with little toil, and a wonderfully positive outlook with little negativity.

_________________________

The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson